There's a lot of official things I can tell you about me,
1. I take this work very seriously, but I do not take myself seriously.
When I'm working with one person, or a couple or a group, I keep it pretty chill and frequently we're laughing about something. I think that's really important. Plus, if we're laughing we are probably also pretty relaxed and that's how I want you to feel when we're talking.
2. I'm a 'get the hard thing done first' kind of person.
This is important to me for two reasons. First, it helps me be more productive and I like to get things done. And second, someone taught me the phrase 'swallow the frog', which I'd never heard before and it has actually been super helpful to me, but the most important part of that is the person who taught me that phrase? I really couldn't stand her! She and I did not get along at all! So it taught me that you can learn something valuable from everyone - even if you don't like them very much/at all.
3. I truly believe that we live one life and it's too short for regrets.
I believe in embracing my mistakes and when I know I need to do something different, I embrace that too. I don't like looking back and going "oh dang, I wish I had started that two years ago cause look how far I'd be now". I have done that before and I absolutely hate that feeling. Is that a not so sneaky way of trying to motivate you to take action today - like right now - to do something different for yourself? Yes. And it's also true.
So that's it. Three things about me that I think are really important for you to know.
--And yes, I am married (but not before I was divorced and was just generally horrible at being in a relationship).
--I used to be a top notch people-pleaser and when I stopped doing that I went straight into shutting down. I did not understand there was an in between and it honestly was ruining my marriage.
--Then I realized there was a middle ground. A place where you can stand up for yourself in your relationship. Where I can think about me and you and us and be powerful and relational at the same time.
--And I have spent years learning how to not only incorporate that middle ground into my own life, but helping others do the same.
--Because of that work I've done, I personally am in the best place I've ever been and so is my relationship with my husband.
And I can help you do that too.
In the membership, or working together one on one, here are some of the other things I can help you with:
- building your self confidence
- reduce feelings of guilt
- stop second-guessing yourself
- negative self talk
- fear of abandonment
- the overwhelming urge to make sure no one is upset
- stopping the shame spiral
- feeling more hopeful
- reduce anxiety
- feel more comfortable speaking up
- create boundaries so you don't have to completely shut down
Or better yet, If you're here because you know you need help with people pleasing and you've been hesitant to get the help you need, just join my monthly membership for women. You can do that here.
What others have said after working with me
"This people pleasing dies hard, but you get it and I appreciate that.
When I think it in my head it feels jumbled, but when I hear you say it it makes so much sense."
"I feel more confident saying no because if my no triggers you to not want to be with me then you can go because I should be able to say no.
And how valuable am I to you if you can’t respect my boundaries?"
"This is most helpful session I’ve had with anyone.
I like that you gave me actual coaching for how to handle things instead of just listening."
I have extensive training specific to working with relationships
In addition to having lived this in my own relationship, I am a Certified Relationship Coach
it's my belief that...
Everyone deserves to feel confident in themselves and have the opportunity to have a happy, healthy relationship with their partner.
You need real life support and guidance. That's what I do.
